Melodious Meyhem

Vacation/whirlwind trip

2009-06-04T12:50:00.000-07:00

OK, so by now most of you already know that we left for a trip to Clarksville TN to surprise Greg's niece for her graduation, then on to WI to visit our families. Well, Dick's van had a HUGE bolt/nail in its tire (hiccup)so we decided that Greg would go put gas in our car and then go take Lisa and the kids to graduation. Ruth and I waited at the hotel for Dick's van to get fixed and for Greg to come back to get us, all that to say we never made it to the Graduation.
Greg and Corban were "T"-boned on their way to pick up Lisa and her kids.

That was the beginning of a very LONG and not so restful vacation! The biggest hiccup of our vacation! Corban was taken to the local hospital to make sure everything was OK, Greg was med-flighted to Nashville because of the unknown injuries as he was out cold and couldn't let the EMT's know anything, and me stranded at the hotel with no transportation and no one telling me anything about either of my men.(hiccup)
God had his hand in it all and He was merciful too save my men with little injuries and the lady that hit them walked away with not even a scratch. Friday night was spent in lots of prayer, tears and waiting for word about Greg and making sure that Corban was OK to go home. (hiccup) Greg was an hour away and no one would talk to me about his status. We went to get Corban an new car seat, checked out of our hotel and headed to Nashville to see Greg and find out if he would be spending the night or if we would be able to take him back to Clarksville with us. They were ready to release him (Praise God) now we had to find another hotel room hopefully in the same hotel as Dick and Ruth. Nope they were sold out(hiccup). So all 5 of us started to settle into one hotel room, while Ruth was getting extra sheets and blankets for us she happened to ask if there was anything open, (it is past midnight at this point). Again Praise God, someone did not show up and their CC did not go through so we were able to secure a suite where the 2 boys could sleep in one room and I could sleep on the couch in the other room so as to give the boys as much time to rest as possible. Saturday was spent making phone calls back to NY to Greg's unit and to the insurance company and trying to figure out how we were going to get to WI let alone back to NY. We rode with Dick and Ruth back to WI (Sunday and Monday), spent 3 days looking for and purchasing a van and putting together a birthday party for Corban and cousin Tabitha and Welcome home party for Greg.

We needed a towing hitch so that we could bring Corban's big boy bed back to NY with us but couldn't find a vehicle in our price range that had one(hiccup). On to U-haul to have one installed. They installed the wrong size(hiccup). Then when Greg went to pick up the trailer that he had reserved at the same time as commissioning the Tow package he found that they had not installed the electrical wiring for the trailer(hiccup). We finally got it all taken care of and are home to NY with out another hiccup in the way. Maybe next time we can actually get some rest during our "vacation"! :)

Corban's surprise!

2009-05-10T16:47:00.000-07:00

I picked up Greg yesterday and then after a few hours alone we went to get Corban from Sandy's house. He did not know that daddy was coming home that day. So we gave him a good suprise and you can almost hear the tears in his voice. He has been hanging on daddy ever since!

I couldn't have asked for a better Mothers Day present!
Welcome home my love!!!!

OK, So let us add one more thing to the list ....

2009-04-30T16:14:00.000-07:00

Greg's brother Monte called me as I was going to get the medicine for Corban... Greg's dad is in the hospital and " they are going to try and keep him comfortable" what exactly does that mean???

I have started the Red cross process to contact Greg but am still waiting on some information from his sister who is on her way to NC to find out what is going on. Does not sound promising, but God is in control!!! (that last is for me more than anyone). We are also in the process of trying to get a message to Greg through the channels here while we wait for information/confirmation through the Red Cross.

Anyhow ... I know that we are in HIS hands, We got to the clinic and General Oats wife helped us contact the Rear D - Major Lorenzen, and one of the Chaplain's walked in as I was trying to contact the Unit Rear D. The Chaplain gave me the numbers for Red Cross and sat in the Clinic's Pharmacy and prayed with Corban and I before we left.

So, it was a one, two, three punch kind of day!

Like I said .... we are in HIS hands and HE is in control!!! Take a breath and pray! Got it! OK, I leave it in your hands my Lord!

What is Stress????

2009-04-30T13:35:00.000-07:00

Well, stress in my life right now is the fact that Corban's Doctor called about an hour ago and told me that he has STREP AGAIN. This is the third time in 2 months and he has been to school and church and who knows where else we have been in the week since he was tested!

Our third bout of antibiotics starts tonight and let see .... we should just finish it when daddy is due home! Oh, and don't forget ... we havent seen daddy in over a year so there might be just a little stress there.

I am still trying to get rid of the rash that I got from the Strep I had back in March. It could take several more months of UV treatments and topical steroids before that clears up, IF it clears up at all.

Then we are going on block leave a week after Greg gets home, with all we are doing and where all we are stopping we might just as well drive cross country! Not to mention that Greg will only be home a week by that time, and driveing isn't stressful nor is visiting family and living in a hotel for about 3 weeks, right?

That is all on the outside, dont forget all the emotional stress mommy and daddy will be under trying to reunite and learning how to communicate and live together again. AAAARRRRGGGGHHHHHH!!!!!

Dear Lord, Help us get through this time of newness, sickness, reuniting with Greg and all that we have to deal with as a couple and help us to not put our "crap" onto Corban. Help us to keep loving each other and continue striving to be a Godly family and individuals in the process. Please give us the strength and desire to continually seek your will for our lives and give us Your Peace, the Peace that passes all understanding!

It is almost here ....

2009-04-26T16:34:00.001-07:00

The end is in sight!!!

I think Spring is finally showing its colors, the weather is warming up and our one month of Summer will be here soon.

Over the last several months we have had lots happen. Very long story short ... I had surgery(women's)at the end of Feb and then Corban came down with Scarlet Fever, then one of my incisions got infected and I got Strep, then Corban got Strep again, then I broke out in a "lovely" rash from head to toe (literally). Corban is doing better and I am now on UV light Therapy to get rid of the rash. It has been 4 weeks of red itchy skin but now that we started the UV therapy last week I am starting to see some great improvements. It is all good though and we have been truly blessed by our family here in the North Country.

Aside from that, (which by the way was way more than enough, Thank you Father for getting us through!) ... GREG IS COMING HOME!!!

I will have a GREAT Mothers day present this year! I am working on some special plans for Greg and I when he gets here. A friend will be taking Corban for a day or two while Greg and I get reacquainted and then I think I will drop Greg off at the Band hall in Uniform and go get Corban so that Corban can "pick up Daddy", this way I get Greg for a little while before Corban becomes his shadow! :)

We are also planning on a trip home and looking forward to seeing friends and family again after a long year. Then it will be back home to the North to get settled into a new routine for the family. Corban wants to start Soccer and possibly Karate. We may do the Karate as a family and since Greg used to play soccer I may just talk him into being a coach, we will see how that goes :)!

Well I guess that is enough rambling for now ... I know that I haven't been good at keeping up the blog, just so much going on and I am stressing out, I have veen SO done with this deployment for months now and cannot wait to be held in Greg's strong arms again!!!

Wishful thinking ....

2009-03-18T12:20:00.000-07:00

OK, so today Corban and I were drawing.
Corban asked that I draw a picture of him so I do a little stick figure.
This is how the conversation went from there ....

Corban: UMMM, something is missing ...
ME: what is missing?
Corban: my hair.
ME: ok, and I draw some hair.
Corban: UMMM, something is missing ...
ME: what is missing?
Corban: mommy.
ME: OK, and I draw a stick figure with long hair for myself.
Corban: UMMMM, something is missing ...
ME: What is missing this time?
Corban: Daddy.
ME: OH, OK so I draw a stick figure of daddy with a hat on.
Corban: UMMMM, somthing is still missing ...
ME: What else is missing ... that is all of us ....
Corban: Baby Brother.
ME: What?
Corban: baby brother, baby Jack (Gracie's little brother)
ME: OOOHHH, you want me to draw a baby brother?
Corban: Yes
ME: Do you want a little brother?
Corban: Yes,
Me: OK , here is a little baby brother for you.
Corban: Baby brother is missing something ...
ME: what?
Corban: Hair.
ME: well not all baby's are born with hair.
Corban: OH!

Just for those of you out there ... this is NOT a hint ... Greg will be home soon and we will be trying but we are NOT there yet. Pray for us as we work with the Doctors to hopefully have another little blessing to add to our family. As you can see Corban wants a baby Jack and mommy and daddy would love a little girl. So, we are praying and waiting to see if God will grant our request with another bundle of joy!

Attempt at Train building ....

2008-12-30T13:09:00.000-08:00

Corban and I decided to create our Gingerbread Train today. Fun but definitely DOES NOT look like the photo on the box! We had a good time though ... Corban played with the candies and told me where to put more frosting and candies. I don't think he is satisfied with the completed project ... still thinks there is something missing even though mommy is done!

Happy Birthday to me ...

2008-12-23T09:26:00.000-08:00

My wonderful Hunkalicious man sent me these for my 40th Birthday yesterday! My favorite flowers and color! Nice way to brighten up a dreary snowy day!
Thank you my love!
I cannot beleive that I am 40 already ... seems like only yesterday I was in school! Where oh where has all the time gone? I know that as the new year appoaches that God has me right were he wants me and I thank Him for all He has done for me and my family!
Greg, my beloved ... I am proud to call you my husband. I am honored that you would pick me as your partner in life. Forever "your Wendy"!

Battle Hymn - get the tissues out!

2008-12-17T10:32:00.000-08:00

In honor of all those who have served and are serving this country! May God bless you all during this Christmas season.
This gave me goose bumps!!!

I love you my Army Soldier Greg!
Thank you Dad for serving and setting the example for us kids. I am very proud of Naval Officer father!
Heidi(Airforce) and Eddie(Army), thank you for serving as well! You make me very proud to be your sister!

Battle Hymn

2008-12-11T10:19:00.000-08:00

I was tagged by Major Mom over at Laundry, little boys and latte
Here you go...all about me on Christmas:)

1. Egg Nog or Hot Chocolate!
Both! but not together:)

2. Does Santa wrap presents or just sit them under the tree?
"Santa" doesnt come to our house, but the gifts will be wrapped and under the tree on Christmas morning.

3. Colored lights or white?
We have white on the tree and Colored on the front porch.

4. Do you hang mistletoe?
Nope ... there is no one here I want to Kiss under the Mistletoe!(at least not this year)

5. When do you put up decorations?
Thanksgiving weekend usually.

6. What is your favorite holiday dish (excluding dessert)?
Sure, you would exclude the desserts! Ummmmmmm .... I guess it would be the corn casserole my Grandma makes, either that or the Rolls, though we beg for the rolls at every family get together!

7. What is your favorite holiday memory as a child?
Devotions as a family. Mom made it fun, each week we would put a new item in the Nativiy Scene. On the first Sunday in Advent we put up the stable and the cow.
The scond Sunday we put Mary, Joseph and the donkey in (Matt 1:18-25). The next week the Shepherds go in with the sheep and the Angel (Luke 2:8-20). The fourth Sunday the Wisemen and the camels go in with the Star (Matt2:1-12). Then on Christmas Eve the little baby Jesus gets laid in the manger (Luke 2:1-7). Now with so many families coming together we do this all on Christmas Eve and the youngest child gets to "find" baby Jesus and put Him in the manger, after all the families take turns reading the scripture.

8. Do you send Christmas cards/E-cards or both?
Regular snail mail if I am on top of things and they get out at all.

9. Do you open a gift on Christmas Eve?
Christmas Eve now days with the "big family". Christmas day with our small family.

10. How do you decorate your Christmas tree?
Well, because daddy is going and I dont want to put it ALL up we have just the Kid friendly ornaments that Corban put on himself and a few new ones that mommy put on the top so they wont get broken :)

11. Snow! love it or dread it?
Both ... It is so beautiful when it is falling and the new unblemished snow just glistens. Just dont like to shovel or be in the cold.

12. Can you ice skate?
Yeah...but I think my behind gets more of a work out then the skates do:)

13. Do you remember your favorite gift?
Sadly no ....

14. What is the most important thing about the holidays to you?
Making sure we all understand the true meaning of the season.

15. What is your favorite holiday dessert?
Pomanders!

16. What is your favorite holiday tradition?
See #7

17. What tops your Christmas tree?
A star that Corban didn't like so now nothing:)

18. Which do you prefer giving or receiving?
Both?!

19. What is your favorite Christmas song?
What Child is this?
Carol of the Bells

20. Candy canes?
Not really ....

21. What do you want for Christmas?
My hubby to come home so we can start creating a sibbling for Corban! (whoops is that TMI?).

22. Do you attend a Christmas party?
Yep, LOVE The fellowship and the lights, not to mention the food!

23. Do you dress-up for Christmas Eve or Pj's.
Dress up for church and then casual at home.

24. Do you own a Santa hat?
Yes, "blushing" dont ask ....

25. Who do you normally spend Christmas with?
Usually my exteded Family on Christmas Eve, then a few of us that can get together again on Christmas day. This year .... who knows?????

OK, well that is our Christmas in a Nut shell, or should I say our Nut house? Now, who will I tag for this Christmas Meme??? Hmmmmm . . . .

Sarah from Footsteps with Grace.
Amy from Finding my new normal
Jerri from Jerri Phillips

Listening for Gods direction .....

2008-12-10T06:04:00.000-08:00

I know it has been a long time since I posted last. No excuse ... just lack of initiative on my part :)

Today though, I am writing while trying to hear Gods voice. I have been seeking Infertility help as Greg and I try for another baby. It took us 3 years to conceive Corban and it has been another 3 1/2 years of trying. I had finnally been able to get the referal and set up the first available apointment (Jan 9) in hopes that we can get the ball rolling and that my body would be ready for when Greg gets home. The Doctor's office called me Monday and had an opening today. I took that opening only to be up at 4am with a sick little boy. I could not in good consience let any one take him or let him go to "school" as he cannot keep anything in his system.
SO, I wait on. It is snowy and icy out, the trip is an hour long ride, so given the road conditions today just must not be the day! It is ALL about God's timing though right?

Along with my starting the Infertility process again(We went through it back in Baltimore 2004), my PWOC (Protestant Women Of the Chapel)group is looking at doing a study this next semester on Infertility. They had originally asked if I would lead the Larry Burkett class on Finance which I agreed to, then I found out about the Hannah's Hope (http://www.amazon.com/Hannahs-Hope-Infertility-Miscarriage-Adoption/dp/1576836541) class and I have been praying that God would guide me in the direction He wants me to take. I feel that as I am currently seeking Infertility treatments that Hannah's Hope would be a good fit for me ... I can empathize with those that are struggling, those that have lost children due to miscarriage or loss through adoption. Am I the right woman for the job? Is this the class that my Heavenly Father wants me to lead? Is the Larry Burkett class where I belong with my accounting background? Is there someone more equiped for either one or both of these classes?

I want to be in HIS will for this! I do not want to jump in feet first and find out later that this was not where He wanted me.

Please God, use me, guide me, let me be your hands and voice if it be your will at this time.

Corban couldnt' wait

2008-10-29T06:28:00.000-07:00

as soon as Corban relized that it was snowing yesterday he was all excited ans wanted to go sliding, Yes, sliding not sleding! He put on his boots with his diaper and gave me his coat to put on this morning. I had to tell him that we needed our clothes on first and the we would go an shovel.
We shoveled the drive way and the sidewalks to the house. Then Corban was playing, he "mowed" the drive way, sat in his sled, but didn't go any where and then was playing with his dump truck while I finished the shoveling.
Thankfull a neibour helped so we were able to get done a little sooner than if we had done it ourselves.

First Snow of the year ...

2008-10-29T06:22:00.001-07:00

OK, so if this is any indication of what this winter is going to bring ... I think we are in a lot of trouble ... But isn't it beautiful!!!

Out of the mouth of Babes ....

2008-10-26T05:42:00.001-07:00

OK, so last night I was having a bad time, missing my hubby and not knowing quite what to do with my self. As we go to bed Corban and I sing a couple songs and pray. Jesus Loves Me, Jesus Loves the Little children, and last night Corban requested the "down in my heart" song. As if the first two were not gentle hints them selves .... I sing away ....

I have Joy Joy Joy, Joy,
Down in my heart,
Down in my Heart,
Down in my heart to stay!!!!
And I'm so Happy,
So very Happy,
I've got the Love of Jesus in my heart!

I do have the Love of my Jesus down in my heart and it is there to stay!
Thank you Father for the reminder and the peace that comes with that knowledge!

Lonely in the Gods arms ...

2008-10-25T17:04:00.001-07:00

A friend of mine shared a devotional that she wrote on Thursday at our PWOC (Protestant Women of the Chapel) gathering. I was unable to hear the whole thing and just finished reading it on her blog. Thank you Trisha for the reminder that God is the ONE I need. In my loneliness I forget to go to Him, to have Him fill me up and satisfy me. I have been searching and searching tonight for something. That something is my Heavenly Father. Once I got through the first couple of months I was doing good, maybe even great. Somehow this weekend I lost focus on the One that has held me firmly in His arms! My focus needs to be upwards and not inward or even for that matter outwards. I must keep my eyes on the One and Only that can truly satisfy my longings. My precious little Corban has been the one that I get out of bed for, the one I continue to exist for, I must change that and make my Lord and Savior the One that I get out of bed for in the morning ... the One that I live for, the One that is my ALL, my Everything, for even though Corban needs me to feed and dress him, he also needs to see the joy of Christ in my life so that one day he too will believe, know and understand his Heavenly Father and live a joy filled, peace filled and redeemed life.

Question ....

2008-10-19T15:18:00.000-07:00

Ok, so after 2 days of having to have store personell find my son who likes to hide and thinks it is funny, I have a question. What do I do?

On a different note I have another question for you. After my little nap today with Corban I got up ... worked on Facebook, talked on the phone with my mom, started my quiet time and was working on my Bible study, when Corban woke up. I was sitting on the couch with him and I just got this out of this world thought! I felt like I was on a long babysitting assignment and that anytime now the little ones mom & dad would come walking in the door. Do you ever feel like that? That this is surreal and that the children God has blessed you with really aren't yours? I think, for the second time since Corban was born, I realised that I was a mom. That I had a little man to raise and teach and provide for. A little heart if you will in my hands that needs to know the Savior, that I have that very real, blessing/resposibility, to show him the light of Christ in my life so that he will one day follow Christ and know His love and mercy!
Wow to be blessed in such a way is beyond my comprehension!

Most handsome little man I know ....

2008-10-12T14:25:00.001-07:00

OK, so I might be a little biased! Today after Church we went to Remington Park with our friend Sarah. She was taking pictures of the kids and she got a great shot of Corban, and then Corban and Gracie sitting on the fence. The kids got to run around some and throw leaves in the air. Gracie is such a doll, and Corban loves playing Prince and Princess with her. He has even fought off the dragons for his little princess! Such a gentleman!
Are they not just the cutest little pair?

Pumkin Patch ... Maze

2008-10-11T16:00:00.001-07:00

Harvest time is here ... today we joined Sandy and kiddlets along with Sarah and little Gracie at the pumpkin patch maze for some fun. The maze is made out of hay bales and is just right for the kids to have fun in. The kiddos also had fun with the bouncy Haunted House and the bouncy slide.
It was such a nice fall day and we enjoyed it all.

Corban's Screw - up - date

2008-10-02T14:29:00.000-07:00

So, after 3 trips to the ER, one to the accute care last night and one to his PCM today, we are still waiting for the screw/bolt to pass. If it has not passed by Monday we will be going back to the clinic. They think after today's X-ray that it should come out anytime. I really hope so, for Corbans sake!
I am not sure what they will do if he has not passed it by that time. Please keep us in your prayers as we continue the "poop watch":)

What's next?

2008-09-29T16:30:00.001-07:00

OK, T-30 minutes and counting. We are headed back to the ER to have them "remove" the screw. I am not sure how that will happen but it has to be done. My poor baby, I am not the one that has to go through it and I am not looking forward to this trip. I am preparing for the worst, an overnight stay. I will let you all know the out come when we get home, or tomorrow, which ever comes first!
Please pray that there be no complications and that the screw can be safely removed with out a lot of discomfort(yeah right)to Corban and his little body.

Really? you have to be kidding!

2008-09-28T18:24:00.000-07:00

ok ... so we made a trip to the ER tonight. NO, not for a broken bone or any of the "normal" little boy things but because my baby swallowed a screw! Yep, you heard me he swalloed a screw! I have a pic to prove it. Now you may think that I am making lite of this, I dont mean to ... I feel like a really bad mommy for letting him do this, not that I had anything to do with it, I was other wise indisposed, if you know what I mean. When in walks Corban with this mischeivious grin on his face and tells me that his mouth hurts. Well, I figured it out pretty quick and called the clinic who told me to go to the ER. So, now I have to check his poop to make sure that it passes within the next 24 hours. If the screw doesnt pass on its own in that time we are heading back to the ER for more x-rays and possibly the surgical removal of said screw. Now, they say it should pass through with out a problem but all I can think about is the worst case sinerio. I dont want my baby to have to be cut open to get this stupid little screw out of his system but I dont want that thing to puncture any of his insides either.
OH, God .... please let it pass safely!!!!

Sneeky little bugger ...

2008-09-13T17:34:00.001-07:00

OK, needed to get out of the house today so called up Sandy and asked what she was doing. After talking for a few minutes we decide that we are up for a trip to the mall after naps. So, we met at 4, eat some food to keep the kiddos happy and cooperative, and proceeded to walk around the mall. GNC, our first stop, Corban decided to hide in the window, the easily impressionable Sissy followed suit before Sandy or I could stop them, in the process of getting a grip on them the signage in the window fell on them and we knocked over the display that was right there. We said our apologies and escaped without further incident, UNTIL ... we go into a dress store to browse and there again the two hooligans act up and knock over a whole display of clothing, Sissy fell right along with the dresses and Corban got scraped up by the stand. We again help to pick up and move quickly out of that store. Sandy asked if we should continue our little adventure and finish our trip and see what else our little buggers can knock over. Sure why not ... we have gotten this far haven't we? Sandy's mom was with us had had a great laugh at our expense, but that is ok we are laughing too. Thankfully that was the end of our mishaps at the mall. Corban and I are approaching the Gate to get back on post. He has his own ID card that he HAS to show the guards, I turned to give it to him, see his BIG grinning face and realized (3 cars from the gate) that he had unbuckled his 5 point harness. OH, buggers, I whipped the car over to one of the parking slots and got out to buckle him back in (all the while the people behind me are thinking I am crazy) and tell him that he cannot do that or the men at the gate would take me away from him if they saw that he wasn't buckled in.
Now, as embarrassed and upset as I could have been ... I just had to laugh at the antics of our little clan of kids. OK, just Sissy and Corban.
We are home safe though and can laugh about the whole thing!
Thank you God for a sense of humor!

More of me ....

2008-09-09T08:02:00.002-07:00

Dear Freinds ... I am sorry to be away but at the same time I do not want anyone to "see" me. I am really struggling with the past and trying to push through it so that I can be healthy in every aspect of my life. Unfortunately as I do this my mind is scrambled and I keep trying to push those that love me most away. I am so afraid of losing my loved ones, yet I dont want them to see the hurt and confusion that has now become part of my life as God and I work through the healing prossess. I am starting a Beth Moore study tonight "Breaking Free". I pray that God will use the study, the women that will be joining me and the power of those that are praying for me to continue the work that He has started. I have pushed my wonderfull hubby, I think, to the brink and I have to continually appologize for my behavior, my insecurities and my denial.
All my life I have struggled with being accepted and longed to be loved. I now have a wonderful man who DOES love me and I hide from him, from myself and from God. I know in my head that I am saved and that I am loved but somehow it has not sunk into my heart and I hurt! I hurt me, I hurt those that love me and I am seeking help to rid myself of the damaging attitudes and actions.
I accepted part of the responsiblity of my past abuse thinking that I had participated and that I was at fault for what happend. I am trying to come to grips with the fact that I was a "victim", not of God's will but of the cruelty and sin that reigns in this broken world. God, I beleived put me in the situation to work it for his good, but, my loving, merciful, Father would neve submit anyone to that kind of abuse. I have to get past that ... I always thought that is what He wanted for me and even though I know that He died for me .... I didnt realize that I was beleiving in the lies. I am trying to accept the fact that I am HIS daughter and that what happened to me was NOT my fault and that is hard to do because then I have to face the pain, the anger, the hurt, the shame and the guilt. I have to some how integrate them into my adult thinking and put all this in the correct boxes. The past CANNOT hurt me any more and I need to stop hurting myself because of it.
I feel like I am going crazy with all this in my head, I cannot concentrate and I am not being the mommy that my little pumkin doodle needs me to be. Corban knows that I am not mentally here for him right now and so do I .... that frightens me. It also frightens me that I keep pushing my Greg away. I want so much for him to hold me close and say that everything will be ok and that we can get through this together. I want Greg to know just how much I love him and adore him. I dont want to loose him by constantly pushing his buttons and pushing him away.
I dont expect anyone to understand or ever relate... This is my blog and I am writing as a way of healing. So, thank you for listening to me ramble and purge. My Greg, if you are reading this please know that I do love you and want you .... I need you and I am sorry that you have to worry about me while you are trying to deal with the war in Iraq and the war that rages on in your heart and mind as well.
God is good and He will bring us through this time.

Resting in His arms .....

Fireproof your marriage!

2008-08-27T13:59:00.000-07:00

I found this on a freinds blog (thanks Sue for the heads up, I cannot get the link to work ... sorry)and thought I should pass it on ... I would love to go see this movie and maybe even get the book that it references to have in my own "library". Talk about a powerful refernece tool for any marriage.

Home attractions .... or NOT!

2008-08-26T06:25:00.000-07:00

OK, so I had to get up extra early this morning to go get the oil changed in the car. I wake up after a very rough night and go hop in the shower to perk up and get ready to go and guess what, NO HOT WATER! yeah ... cold shower ... didnt happen. I tried to light the pilot but it wont stay lit so, I called for service call on it, took the car in, took Corban to school, came back and no one has been here yet! So, on a day when I have time to rest and relax in the tub for 10 minutes, I have no hot water! Not good! I hope for the sake of my PWOC sisters that I get hot water soon or I may not be going anywhere else today, well ok I do have to go pick up Corban, but other than that nothing is happening today until I get that shower!

The new and improved version of "Twins"

2008-08-18T10:59:00.000-07:00

They have replaced the original Arnald S and Danny D with these two heros for the new and improved version of "TWINS".
Actually this is my handsome Hubby Greg(left)and his roommate(right). The service must have gotten their laundry mixed up. Good thing it was just the shirts, right? :)

Happy Anniversary ... My Dear One

2008-08-16T04:29:00.000-07:00

It has been 6 years today, since we said I do! These 6 years have been wonderful years sweet heart. We have had our share of ups and downs and God has been faithful through them all. We have a precious little man born out of our love and what a bundle of joy he is. I am proud of you and our Corban, you are two very special men, and I am truly blessed. I so wanted to do something special for you, but with you so far away on this day ... I am not sure what to do, or say. So, a great big THANK YOU for making me "Your" Wendy and a promise of a very special Yellow ribbon home coming will have to do. For now you are in God's arms and He is keeping you, protecting you and loving you more than I ever can. Know that I love you very much too, and am here waiting for the day that you return safely to my waiting arms.

OK, So here is the deal

2008-08-11T09:28:00.001-07:00

I have not been posting lately because I am in a really dark place right now and in affect am hiding. My friend Sandy has encouraged me to continue to blog as a therapeutic stress relief. So, I think I will try to do so a little more often again. This deployment and some other very personal things have really got me messed up. I have PTSD (Post Traumatic Stress Disorder) due to some past abuse from child hood and post College. I am trying to work through all of that and because of the sensitivity, it causes me to hide. That way no one will really know what is happening and I can try to retain some sort of control.
I need to let God do the controlling ... he will not harm me and all of this is in the past so it cannot harm me anymore. Yeah, right! Tell that to me brain, OK! Not computing as it should be. As I work through some of the issues I am actually reliving them. Not a good thing when I feel so alone, yet it is the perfect time as I believe that it is God's time. With Greg being gone we are both able to work through some tough stuff separately so that when we come back together after this deployment we can be stronger as individuals and as a couple. Stronger in our faith and understanding of God our Heavenly Father and His grace and mercy, along with His forgiveness.
So, very long story short ... we are truly blessed by this deployment and what God is working in our lives. If I could ask for continued prayer around us ... just for support and guidance from the Spirit so that we are strong through this darkness, that we let God be our strength and allow Him to carry us through the valley, as we ourselves are weak and cannot make it alone.
Resting in HIS arms .... minute by minute, and some days second by second :)

much todo about nothing ...

2008-07-01T11:36:00.000-07:00

Ok, well I said that I would be checking in and so I have ... I do not have the computer access that I thought I would have nor do I have the quiet time with which to write. I am not even able to talk to my hubby via IM as often as we were able to do back home. Maybe that is good, maybe not. We are really struggling with the seperation and things got really bad just before I came to WI. I am trying to keep a happy face while with my family, I am not sure that I am succeeding very well. It is really hard to keep the lines of communication and trust in our marriage open and secure while Greg is 6000 miles away. Corban tells me almost daily the he misses his daddy and the he wants to go home. I dont blame him .. I do too! I just pray that our Heavenly Father will get us through this valley and that we will come out the otherside stronger and more like Christ when it is over and Greg is back home and in our arms again.
Although vaccation is nice and I love my family ... I really long to be home with all my friends in NY. Is that an awful thing to say or what? I really just want a break ... I need some healing time ... some time with my God and Father, some time just to be. I thought that I would have that here but that has not been the case thus far.
Oh, well ... I guess I had better continue on with the things I need to get done while I have a few minutes and Corban is still sleeping.
Talk to you all in awhile.
Resting In His arms ..... or at least trying:)

We have arrived ...

2008-06-22T05:54:00.000-07:00

Well, after an 18 hour trip (14 on the train and 4 getting to and from the train) we have arrived safely in Wisconsin.
Corban really enjoyed the train ride. I on the other had question my decision to ride the train. It was a good ride but very uncomfortable for sleeping. The train was 2 hours late arriving in Chicago and Corban started acting up, and then of course he fell asleep in my arms just before we arrived. I am sure I looked reall comical as I tried to carry my now 3 year old, my carry on and 2 other bags off the train. There was a very nice family that sat ahead of us that helped me get off the train and Corban woke up just before we stepped down. So he waqs able to walk to the station, thank goodness! I am not sure how I would have done it with him in my arms and all that. Anyhow ... we are here and relaxing.
Today we are going to celebrate Corbans 3rd birthday, which was yesterday, with a BBQ over at my parents house. We are looking forward to some much needed rest and I am looking forward to the help that my family can provide for a while with Corban so I can relax some.
I will keep in touch and thank you all for the prayers.
Resting in HIS arms......

Happy Fathers Day

2008-06-15T04:00:00.000-07:00

My Dearest Greg,
I just want to honor you today. So, on this Fathers day because you are thousands of miles away from us, we would like to salute you! We want everyone to know how much we love and honor you, that we are super proud of you. We want to Thank you for all that you are and all that you do. We want you to know that Corban and mommy pray for you often. Thank you for being the man of God that we need, for being a beacon of light in the darkness. Thank you for covering us as Christ does His church. We pray that while we are separated that we all would grow in the strength that only Christ can give and that you are able to shine where you are planted for this season. Please be safe and know that we are here waiting and praying for you and the men and women serving with you.

Dear Friends,

2008-06-14T13:10:00.000-07:00

I know that some of you are worried about me. Thank you for your prayers and concern. I have not been posting because I don't want to always sound so negative. I feel that I have been just posting the bad and none of the good. Yes, I am having a hard time with my Greg being gone. I am taking this whole deployment one day at a time, and some days it is one minute at a time. I have some wonderful friends that are helping me though this time. Both Sandy and Abby's men left at the same time mine did. We have started walking together on an almost daily basis and that keeps us busy.
Corban had two more scopes and another biopsy done on Wednesday. Thankfully my friend's were there to distract me and Corban prior to the tests and Abby came to wait with me. The test so far are all normal, we are still waiting for one more and then I am not sure what will happen. I guess Corban will just out grow his GI problems as there doesn't seem to be anything wrong, at least that we can find. I think that is good news but still wish we had some answers. It has been a long haul for all of us. I know that God give us more than we can handle to stretch us and grow us ... I pray that is what is happening to me, I don't see it and I am struggling with even the little things. This deployment is really teaching me how heavily I relied on my Greg to get me through. He was my strength and I think that God has allowed him to be parted from me so that I will rely on Him more and less on my husband for my needs and my fulfillment. Thank goodness He sees the finished product, all I see is the underside were all the strings and the knots are that are holding this fine piece of fabric together, not a pretty sight I must say. God, however, sees and knows how beautiful I am and will be.
So, all that to say Thank you very much for your wonderful prayers and encouragement.
Now, Corban and I are taking a train trip back to Wisconsin to see our families on Friday and we will be gone for just shy of a month. I will try to post from WI at least once or twice and let you all know how we are doing. Corban is excited about the Train (he just loves them) and I though that the trip would be a good Birthday treat for our little guy. Corban will be turning 3 on Saturday the 21st of June. He is growing up so fast!

Memorial day ...

2008-05-26T17:30:00.001-07:00

Today was a day of remembrance. We as a country have a long history of fighting for our freedom and today we remember those that have fought, died, and are still fighting for freedom. We are to remember that freedom really is not free, there is always a price to pay. We have all paid that price in one way or another.
The sacrifice that we make today (although it is not easy)is nothing compared to that of what our Heavenly Father did for us. He sent his one and only son to die for us, that we might live in eternity with him (John 3:16). Praise Him that he has not left us in our filthy rags but has clothed us in His righteousness and calls us His bride (Isaiah 62:5). We are free from sin and shame(Isaiah 53:5), free from the guilt that the world and we ourselves put on us. He give us freedom through the blood that He shed for us on the cross, where he suffered our sin and shame. All of it. Not just what we have done but past present and future. Once we have accepted His blood offering we are forgiven and free(Ephesians 5:25-27). We must still confess on a minute by minute or day by day, yet He holds us in the palm of His hand and NO ONE can tear us out of it. Yes, we can turn away for a time, He is there waiting for us to return, to embrace us and hold us tight again(Isaiah 49:15-16).
I pray today that if you do not know the Father that you would take the time to seek Him and know the ultimate freedom. That this would be your eternal Memorial day, the day that you have chosen Life.

Not only do I have the privilege of being my fathers daughter(Retired Naval Officer, who I am very proud of), I have the awesome privilege of having been adopted into the Kingdom of heaven and am called His child and His bride. Then there is the wonderful gift that God gave to me in my Army man (Greg) who is today serving us not only to keep our freedom but to free others from the oppression that they are living under. I have been blessed beyond measure and am truly Proud of those members of my family who have served and are serving in the Navy, Army, Air Force, & Marines. Thank you also to all the service men and women, who are serving now, for continuing the mission that God gave you and for helping to keep us free while we are here on this earth.

Resting In HIS Arms tonight ....

Strengthen me ....

2008-05-24T18:48:00.000-07:00

Dear Father in Heaven,
I need you right now more than ever. I have been trying to be brave and strong and on the outside it may appear that way. On the inside, at home while no one is around I am falling apart. I am eating really badly and not caring much about it until the other day when I realized what I was doing.
I was seeking comfort in all the wrong areas. I was staying busy with friends, blogging, eating. There I said it. I have been eating behind closed doors all the stuff that I shouldn't be eating and I don't know how to get out of the pit. I am praying that your Spirit would guide me and help me to be whole while apart from my beloved Greg. I have made sure to keep going to Bible study and Church but I have left my personal life with you (small as it was) to slip further away. I am at a loss as to where to turn except to you and pray that you will sustain me and be my strength in this time of dark weakness. Please Lord, I just pray now for someone to come along side me and help me be healthy for You, for Me, for Greg and for (Corban)the precious little one that you have placed in my arms, that I might raise him for Your Glory. Help me not to destroy that mission by eating my way into an early grave.
Yes, you heard me right I AM EATING MY WAY INTO AN EARLY GRAVE so that I don't have to feel and I don't have to think. I am numb, I think that is the best way to describe me right now. I am on auto pilot with a bag of candy in one hand and, OK in both hands. Please Father give me Strength to get though this loneliness and pain.

A Reminder to self:
Acts 26:27 says "I will protect you..."
Isaiah 66:13 says "I will comfort you..."
Leviticus 26:6 says "I will give you peace..."
Jeremiah 29:12 says "...I will listen to you."
Isaiah 46:4 says "...I will carry you..."
Isaiah 41:10 says "...I will strengthen you..."
Matthew 11:28 says "...I will give you rest..."
and
Genesis 31:3 Reminds us that "...I will be with you."

Thank you Father for these reminders. I need them minute by minute, day by day, as I try to seek Your face and to know Your heart that I might live free and healthy in YOU.
Thank you Father for choosing to put me in this place at this time. May I always be reminded of your great bounty, your great goodness and love, your provisions and your protection.

Resting In His Arms tonight ... surrounded by His grace and love ...

I was awarded another blessing

2008-05-15T19:12:00.000-07:00

The Blog of distiction Award has been given to me by e-Mom from Chrysalis I am thankful that she has thought of me. Now I have the honor to pass this award on to 5 others who cause you to think, laugh, cry or saigh. I have chosen the following ...

1) Sue from Praise and Coffee
(Think:Two shall become One Tuesdays)

2) Sandy from The Daily Poop :)
(Laugh:dear friend and mother to 4 little blessings, Hubby is with mine in the big "Sand Box")

3) Sara/Grace from Footsteps with Grace
(Laugh:Sweet mama to little Gracie with another blessing on the way.)

4) Jerri from Jerri Phillips
(Cry/Think:Beautiful bloggy freind with much wisdom and grace.)

5) Trisha from Laundry,little boys and lattes
(Sigh:Friend who is trying to adopt a little angel from Haiti)

Happy Mothers Day!

2008-05-11T18:15:00.000-07:00

Today was a bright and sunny day! What more could we have asked for? My love sent me these flowers and our friend Peg came to church with us. We received a Mothers day basket and a Carnation at church. Corban got a new stroller and we had a picnic with some other friends.
After the picnic Peg came back to our house with bags full of clothes for Corban and a new digital camera for us to send to daddy. (Thanks Peg for spoiling us.) Then Corban gave Peg and mommy a foot bath, while he got a full bath and he even "shaved" our legs :)What a treat that was. He learned it from his daddy who would shave mommy's legs for her every week. Boy does mommy miss that! :)
After our "bath" it was snuggle time and then off to bed (yawn!) Nightie Night all. I pray that you all had a wonderful day and that you were treated on you special day.
HAPPY MOTHERS DAY!

Craziness rules ....

2008-05-10T18:15:00.000-07:00

So, today we had a plan... We (Sandy, Diana and I) were going to have a fun day meeting Super Why, Clifford the big red dog and Curious George down by the fair grounds. It was a PBS reading fair. OK, picture this if you can...3 mommies and 7 kiddos all under the age of 5. Going to a "fair" where all the other mommies and daddies are with all of their kids. YIKES! OK, well the idea was good, but after an hour or so of walking around tables that you couldn't even tell what they were displaying we grabbed a few free things. Checked out the Fire truck (the highlight of Corban's day) hugged Clifford and left. We traded one crazy scene for another at THE McDonald's in town that has a play land, we weren't the only ones with that idea! WHAT have we gotten ourselves into???? LOL
As chaotic as it was we all had a great time, the kids romped and we laughed at ourselves for being so, ummm,(LOL) Crazy (I guess is the best way to describe it)in thinking that this would be fun for us, well at least the kids.
The company was awesome and the kids were filled up with fun for awhile, OK, at least until tomorrow, they are kids ....

He Called ....

2008-05-09T13:07:00.001-07:00

Yeah!!! Greg called today while Corban and I were at Sears doing some photos for daddy. (will post some pics later) He arrived in Kuwait on Tuesday and they are doing some training before moving on. He sounded good and Corban enjoyed talking to him and letting him know that he(Greg)was fighting the bad guys for us :)
I have not been sleeping, of course, with my man gone but I think I am doing OK. I am keeping busy so that helps. Taking it hour by hour, minute by minute.
Corban, well, he is having a rough time because he doesn't know how to handle the feelings and what not of his daddy being gone. He sniffles and holds on for dear life when he needs his daddy, and is acting out in other not so nice ways. Which is very hard on mommy, but I understand why he is doing it. I just don't know what to do but Love on him a lot and hold him close. He sleeps with his kissing pillow, trys to call daddy on his play cell phone to ask when he is coming home and then tells daddy he loves him.
Greg made a DVD of himself reading some books to Corban and we have watched that several times and Corban will try to talk to daddy while we watch it. Everytime we are in the car we have to play some music that has "daddy's horn" in it (Tuba).

I can do this ...

2008-05-06T08:17:00.000-07:00

through Him who strengthens me.

Acts 26:27 says "I will protect you..."
Isaiah 66:13 says "I will comfort you..."
Leviticus 26:6 says "I will give you peace..."
Jeremiah 29:12 says "...I will listen to you."
Isaiah 46:4 says "...I will carry you..."
Isaiah 41:10 says "...I will strengthen you..."
Matthew 11:28 says "...I will give you rest..."
and
Genesis 31:3 Reminds us that "...I will be with you."

As I trust in the Great I AM I will survive. I will have peace and joy. I will have comfort and protection and I will be given rest when I need it. God is good and gracious and He will carry, not just me because I am not alone in this season of my life, there are so many more women that are missing there mates and so many little blessings that are missing their daddies right now, us though. His love knows no boundaries and no time lines. He will be with those of us left behind as well as the men and women that have gone forward to protect our freedom. Thank you Father that you are bigger than I could ever imagine and that you take care of us even as the flowers of the fields.

In His Arms ... surrounded by His grace and love ...

PS: Daddy ... Corban his glued to his "kissing pillow". WE LOVE YOU, be safe and
know we are praying for you.

He's gone :(

2008-05-05T14:53:00.000-07:00

We dropped Greg off about 3 hours ago now and I just didn't want to let go. Thankfully we went with our friends the Fontes' to McDonalds to let the kids romp so that we didn't have to come home right away. Now Corban is crying for his daddy too. I am so weak, I don't even want Corban right now, I just want to be alone to greive. I want to crawl in bed, cover up my head and bawl. It feels like my life has been cut off. You would think I was greiving his death, that he wasn't coming back to us. Honestly, that is how it feels.

Father God, Please watch over my Greg and bring him home safely to us! Please carry me in your arms this next year and show me your comfort so that I may show others that need it too. Thank you so much for the friends that you have brought to both Greg and myself. Please help Greg to bond with some of the other Christian men in the unit and keep them strong in You. Father please just wrap me in your arms, I hurt so much! Thank you for the peace I know that you will bring and the joy that comes with the sorrow. Thank you that the tears are only for a moment in time and that the Love lasts forever. Please remind me often that this is a season of growth and renewal for our family.
IN HIS ARMS!

Marriage Monday - "The Crazy way we met"

2008-05-05T03:30:00.000-07:00

It was a total God thing.
I have to warn you I have had a lot of negative feed back on the way "we met" so if you are against Internet dating/personal ads, STOP right here and go no further. If you want to chuckle a little and share my wonderful experience, read on my friend and enjoy the whirl wind :)

I was asked at one time if I would ever answer a personal add. My response was a definite NO, I laughed at most of what was written in them or shook my head at others. Then several years later a computer personal ad site kept popping up in my email and I got "delete" happy getting rid of it.
"STOP bothering me! I am not interested! God will provide."
Or was He was trying to tell me something. So after about a week of being "delete happy" they sent me a week free ....
"OK, God I will take the week and be done!Is that what you want?" That's all it took.

SO, I sign up ... post my profile ... look around and answer 3 ads.
2 men respond .... turn one off because of my beliefs .... second one sends me 20 questions. What is up with that? I answered all of them ... it took awhile though.

OK, so we get to talking and about 3 weeks later he sends me his phone number *#&-$%#! and says call if I want to chat. Well, now I was raised in a home where you never call the guy first so.... I write to him and let him know this and also let him know that I know his number but that if he can figure out mine (*#%-%^&*)he should call me if he is interested in finding out more about me. That night after my work out I am relaxing in a nice bath when the phone rings and my room mate hands me the phone telling me it is "Greg from the Internet". You should have seen her face:)

Now fast forward about another 3 weeks, we are finally going to meet face to face! Oh, my gosh, sweaty hands, nervous stomach ... YIKES what have I done?
Greg called me the night before and let me know where to pick him up and if I was OK with that. He was going to park his car near the restaurant he wanted to take me to and the ride the bus down to the University for class, could I pick him up after work? "Sure ... " Then he asks the big question .... What did I look like, what size was I? Oh, great, me being a larger woman and very self conscious of that fact I tried to be evasive and vague. We said good night and hung up shortly thereafter. The next day I talked to my boss/friend and let her know of our conversation and that I was going to stand him up. I didn't want to be rejected sight unseen and that is the way I felt after the previous phone conversation. No, I was brought up better than that and I should keep my commitment. I would meet him and end the night short if I didn't like the way things were going. So, I got all gussied up in a nice black outfit and went to pick up the guy.

At the time I was driving a little Pontiac Laser, you know the kind that has a back seat if you want to call it that :) I got to the university to pick up Greg and found this guy ... Olive drab all in one snowsuit and ski mask ... UH OH ... 6 feet something and HUGE! "He is never going to fit in my car ... Now what do I do?" Smiling, I get out and Introduce myself .... "here goes nothing". He pushed the car seat back as far as it would go and leaned it back so he didn't have to eat his knees prior to supper, we had a good laugh and that broke the tension we were both feeling.

Greg had me melting in his hands (literally)as soon as he opened the door to the restaurant and gently put his hand on the small of my back to usher me in. I couldn't take my eyes off his soft full lips or his big beautiful brown eyes while we talked and eat. Then to top it all off as he took me back to my car he actually asked me if he could hug me good night. WOW, really, OK .... um sure. Thanks. We met face to face on Feb 7, 2002. He asked my retired Naval officer father for my hand (boy did my dad make him sweat, hee hee) in June, and then officially proposed (down on his knee, asking ME) a week before the wedding. And we were married on August 16. The rest, as they say, is history. We will be married for 6 years this August and God has been faithful in his match making.
Thank you father for the wonderful man you have allowed me to meet, love, marry and spend the rest of my life with. He is a treasure!

Thank you Greg for making me "YOUR WENDY" I am honored and blessed by you!

Leaving ...

2008-05-01T14:05:00.000-07:00

After several changes the time is near to say goodbye to Daddy. How will we survive without our rock? How do you say goodbye to the one you love for such a long time? How do you let your 2 nearly 3 year old know that daddy will be back but not for awhile? How do you stay strong for the little ones when all you want to do is hang on and not let your man go to do what he has been called to do?

Father God, Please hold me in your hands, hold me fast and strong for I am weak and selfish and I need you to carry me through this time.

Marriage Monday is coming ....

2008-04-28T12:45:00.000-07:00

Earlier this month e-mom awarded me this beautiful award and I have just figured out how to link it and post it on my site.

Now Marriage Monday is coming again on May 5th. This months topic is "The Crazy way we met" I hope that you will join us and let us all in on that very special meeting of the love of your life.
In His Arms ....

Tag interupted ...

2008-04-27T13:03:00.000-07:00

OK, well now this may take a few minutes for me to put together.... bear with me and we both may learn something new:)

I am..... a wife, a mommy, a daughter, a child of the KING, heir to the thown of grace, a sister, and friend. Where I need to be right now.
I want..... another baby to hold and love Lord willing.
I have..... a wonderful hubby who is a soldier in the US Army and the Army of God. and a beautiful gift from God, named Corban (Mark 7:11 kjv)
I wish..... we had a back yard to play in.
I hate..... seeing Corban in pain and not knowing how to help him, but hopefully we will have answers soon.
I miss..... my friends Carrie and Kristin from WI
I fear..... Losing Greg or Corban. Being alone
I feel..... good, loved and needed
I hear..... Corban waking up from his nap and Greg in the kitchen making potato salad
I smell..... potatoes, radishes, and cucumbers.
I crave..... Ben and Jerry's Phi sh Food Ice Cream.
I search..... for the will of God and His hand in my life and that of my family.
I wonder..... why I am so scared of bugs, anything creepy crawly really
I regret..... buying the house we have in WI and all the pain it has caused us
I love..... My family, the smell of rain on a spring day, yellow roses, my heavenly father, and listening to Corban laugh
I ache..... because I am old :)
I care..... about my friends and family and the little ones that don't have any one to love them.
I always..... have a hard time relaxing and falling a sleep
I am not..... good with words, letting people in or asking for help
I believe..... that I am a forgiven child of God and that he has a plan and a purpose for our lives.
I dance..... with Corban to be silly and with Greg to snuggle and just be held by my man.
I sing..... any time I can as long as no one is listening. To Corban when I rock him to sleep.
I cry..... too easily, when I am angry, hurt, sad, or see others hurting, or watch a "stupid"(emotional) movie
I don't always..... remember to look to the Lord for my strength and my joy. I try to do too much in my own human power.
I fight..... with my image and my selfishness
I write..... because at times it helps me face my fears and put all that noise in my head to rest so that I can move on, it also helps me express my feelings and put them in order.
I never..... want to see the twinkle leave Corban's eyes, or lose my wonderful hubby
I listen..... to Corban make music on our keyboard and what ever he can find to use as a drum
I need..... to deepen my relationship with Christ and learn how to pray for my men. I need to learn how to better communicate with Greg.
I am happy..... playing with, wrestling with and tickling my Corban, just being held in Greg's strong and reassuring embrace

There you have it .... me in a nut shell .... three hours later, I had to finish the potatoe salad:)

I tag ....
Jerri Phillips
e-Mom
Jan Parrish
Sue
Marti

Woo Hoo, I've been tagged!

2008-04-26T18:52:00.000-07:00

OK, now that I have been tagged I guess I had better figure out what to do next. I will post tomorrow. In the mean time it is late and I am hitting the hay! See you all on the morrow, hee hee Nighty Night.

Test are done and Tubes are In.

2008-04-22T13:10:00.000-07:00

Now we are playing the waiting game. Yesterday Corban went in for a sygmoidoscopy and 2 rectal biopsies. We are waiting on results to see what is up and what the next step is in the long ongoing Bowel issues that he is having. This morning we were at the hospital at 7:15 to have tubes put in his little ears. He was in and out of this surgery in about 15 minutes and then he wanted to go to MOPS and play with the kids, which we did. He seams to be doing OK, except for the pain in his rectum from the biopsies. He has taken to crying and sometimes when he poops to screaming again because of the pain. I am thankful that the pain this time is temporary and I am praying for answers, so that we can finally help our baby feel better. So, it has been a very long week for us and it is only Tuesday. Corban was a wonderful little guy for the doctors, he even gave the one a high five while we were talking yesterday. He is such a trooper and every one loved his attitude and playful spirits.

Making Bread

2008-04-17T13:33:00.000-07:00

So, the other day our PWOC group decided to get together to learn how to make bread. Today we did just that. What a wonderful time we had. Not only was the work that goes into the bread fun and fulfilling, the fellowship was refreshing even with 5 little ones running around. We had tome to go out and enjoy the sunshine with the kids as we waited for our bread to rise and bake the smaple loaves. ONce the bread was done we partook of a fancy fruit and sandwich meal together. Yummy!!

Anyhow, I was thinking about the process of making that bread. First you need some warm water and some honey(sugar)to get the yeast to start growing. Kind of like we need Christ and the Holy Spirit to grow. Then we feed on the Word to continue to grow in our walk with Christ. As we add more and more flour (of God's word) we get less "sticky" or "worldly" and are more grounded in the Word and in our relationship with our Creator. God then turns us out and kneads us, moulding us into the people that He wants us to be. For the bread this takes 6-10 minutes of work, yet for us that is a life time commitment from our heavenly Father. As the word (yeast) in us grows we expand and we grow, then there are times when for a season we are defeated (Punched, as we did the dough, not that God punches us ...although sometimes in the situations/valleys it can feel like it) to get the air out. This can be likened to the lessons that God uses in our lives to take "us" out of the mix and put more of Him into our lives. We can continue this process over and over refining and getting better as time goes on. Then in the end we are "baked" or if you will allow we are perfected in His coming again. I know that I am looking forward to that day when I can see my savior face to face. Until then I welcome the kneading and moulding that He is doing in my life hills and valleys included.

Well, I hope that you will all understand what I am trying to say, sometimes it sounds better in my head than on the paper :)
In HIS arms,

Marriage Monday

2008-04-07T12:39:00.000-07:00

Want this button?So, today's topic is on the Happiness or Holiness of marriage.
I beleive that Marriage is designed for both. Marriage is an extention of our relationship with Christ and therefore it is a Holy covenant. We are to honor and respect our husbands as the Head of our homes just as our husbands are to love and protect us as Christ does for his Bride, the church. Along with that God has created us to be relational creatures and has designed us for each other which will bring happiness & joy.

Ephesians 5:33 "Each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband."

Hebrews 13:4 (NIRV) "All of you should honor marriage. You should keep the marriage bed pure"

Proverbs 5:18b " Rejoice in the wife of your youth."

Genesis 2:18 " I will make a helper who is just right for him."

Mathew 19:4-6 "Have you not read that He who made them at the begining 'made them male and female,' "and said, 'For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joinedto his wife, and the two shall become one flesh'? "So, then they are no longer two but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let no man seperate."

God is our gracious and loving father who wants the best for us and in our marriage covenant to each other we not only have the unbreakable holy covenant with Chirst but also the very fragile human covenant with our spouse. Marriage is more than the wedding day, though that was a very special significant day. Marriage is a work in process, a lifetime commitment to each other and Christ.

Mending

2008-04-04T14:07:00.000-07:00

Have you ever had one of those days were you are able to just let go of the pride and selfishness to reach out to others and to let them minister to your heart? A few of us military women were able to do that yesterday during our session at PWOC. My heart has been on the mend for the last few days and Thursday was the best time. I was able to just receive the grace and mercy that God offers us through our sisters in Christ. As women we often try to be super women and do it on our own. God has made us entirely different. We are to build each other up and to bear each others burdens, this is part of being the body of Christ. It is also part of being a woman. God has been working in me and I pray that he continues to build what he has started, He promises that he will not stop and that He will prosper and grow us. I pray that as this year unfolds that I will grow in His knowledge and grace, that He would bind us together in His love. I know that I am where He wants me to be and even though it is hard at times He walks with us and even carries us through the valleys bringing us to the light and warmth of the Son.
Blessings to you all!

Grandma's Visit

2008-04-04T13:50:00.000-07:00

Greg's mom has been here for the last week. She leaves before the sun comes up in the morning and we are going to miss her. She has not stopped doing the laundry since she got here as all of us have been sick and now she is going home with a cold to remember us with. I will have to write later. Thank you all for your prayers and support over the last few weeks as I have been under fire. God is good and we (I) will get through this, one step, one day, Thousands of prayers at a time.
Block leave starts Monday and although Greg is not taking it he will be taking four day passes so that we can have some family fun before he leaves. Any ideas on cheap family fun in the area?

Melt down ....

2008-03-25T13:17:00.000-07:00

Today's topic is - Brokenness

That is exactly what I am. I am a broken sinner looking only to myself for strength, support, love, I am not relying on my heavenly father to take care of me. I am lonely even as I sit here and think of all the wonderful women that God has placed in my life for this season that We are about to embark on together. There are many who have already been through a deployment and I thought, not a problem. I know that this is Gods will for my hubby and I support him wholeheartedly.

Now that is is down to the wire and I see him bringing home all his gear and know that this is truly a reality. I am scared out of my mind! How am I going to handle this while my main stability and support is thousands of miles away from us. When I can barely take care of myself let alone the beautiful little boy that God has graciously placed in my care.

When I read the following link I lost it. I am alone and have time to clean up before my boys come home. I wanted to share my heart first and ask for prayer from my friends here on line and to publicly as for forgiveness from my Creator for not allowing him to be Lord in my life, for not giving him total and unquestionable control of who I am. I am still working on that. (maybe I will share more on that later... not today.) I am so out of it with the back surgery and all that I completely missed Easter and the fact that our Lord is Risen. As someone once told me "Praisealuia!!!!"

Anyway here is the link and a copy of my comment to Karen. Jeez, I feel like a big cry baby all of a sudden. Yet I cannot seem to stop:) Thanks for understanding.
Brokenness-i-can-live-up-to-that.html

Karen, I stoped by via Sue's praise and coffee. Thank you for the words of encouragement. I am struggling with being enough right now. I am still recovering from a recent back surgery and facing my first deployment. I am scared that I am not enough and I am afraid to let go of me so that God can do what he needs to do. I am trying so hard to be strong for my precious husband and our wonderful little 2 year old. My heart is breaking and ... sobbing ... Oh God Help me.... cannot finish ... sorry

Daddy's Soldier

2008-03-20T10:45:00.000-07:00

Every time we are out and about and we see the soldiers out there doing a road march Corban calls them "Daddy's Soldiers" and tells me that "daddy does that". Greg brought home his body armor the other day to finish putting it together and to model it for us. Boy did that bring home the fact that he is leaving soon. The idea of him going over "the pond" to the "sandbox" is a little more scary now. I am still behind him 100% but now I keep praying that God will bring him home to us safely and swiftly!

Job posting ... volunteer position

2008-03-20T09:13:00.000-07:00

I just copied this from a friends (Diana) site .... it is too funny

POSITION :
Mother, Mom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
Father, Dad, Daddy, Dada, Pa, Pop

JOB DESCRIPTION :

Long term, team players needed, for challenging
permanent work in an,
often chaotic environment.
Candidates must possess excellent communication
and organizational skills and be willing to work
variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
and frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
Some overnight travel required, including trips to
primitive camping sites on rainy weekends and endless sports tournaments in far away cities!
Travel expenses not reimbursed.
Extensive courier duties also required.

RESPONSIBILITIES :

The rest of your life.
Must be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
until someone needs $5.
Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
Also, must possess the physical stamina of a
pack mule
and be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
in case, this time, the screams from
the backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
such as small gadget repair, mysteriously sluggish toilets
and stuck zippers.
Must screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
coordinate production of multiple homework projects.
Must have ability to plan and organize social gatherings
for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
Must be willing to be indispensable one minute,
an embarrassment the next.
Must handle assembly and product safety testing of a
half million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
Must always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
Must assume final, complete accountability for
the quality of the end product.
Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and
janitorial work throughout the facility.

POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION :

None.
Your job is to remain in the same position for years, without complaining, constantly retraining and updating your skills,
so that those in your charge can ultimately surpass you

PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE :

None required unfortunately.
On-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.

WAGES AND COMPENSATION :

Get this! You pay them!
Offering frequent raises and bonuses
A balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
of the assumption that college will help them
become financially independent.
When you die, you give them whatever is left.
The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
you actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.

BENEFITS :

While no health or dental insurance, no pension,
no tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
no stock options are offered;
this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth, unconditional love,
and free hugs and kisses for life if you play your cards right.

AND A FOOTNOTE ‘THERE IS NO RETIREMENT — EVER!!!

Strawberry Ice Cream

2008-03-20T08:57:00.001-07:00

You Are Strawberry Ice Cream

A bit shy and sensitive, you are sweet to the core.
You often find yourself on the outside looking in.
Insightful and pensive, you really understand how the world works.

You are most compatible with chocolate chip ice cream.

What Flavor Ice Cream are you ?

Recovery ...

2008-03-19T14:10:00.000-07:00

So, it has been a few days now and I am actually sitting on a kitchen chair now typing this. The surgery went OK. I have a touch of upper respiratory infection but I am on my way back! YEAH!!!!
I'll be back later ... I need to go rest now. Thanks for the prayers.

Thanks for the prayers and the support ...

2008-03-13T17:01:00.000-07:00

Just a quick note to say thank you to all who are praying for me and my family as I go in for back surgery tommorrow morning. Also to those of you who are bringing food and those who are coming to clean for me over the next couple of weeks. A huge thanks also to Sandy who will be adding another little one to her already full house.

Two days and counting.

2008-03-12T13:46:00.000-07:00

Back surgery is in 2 days. Friday at 10:45am I will be in the OR. The Lumbar Laminectomy should take about 2 hours and I will be at the Northeast Med Center overnight. Our Friend from home (Joyce)is here to take care of Corban for the weekend while Greg and I are in Syracuse for the operation. I am looking forward to feeling and moving better. I am scared about having a back operation and very nervous about the recovery. I will not be able to pick up a newspaper let alone my little guy. The house will have to be let go for awhile, even more so than it has been for the last couple of months and that is bothering me. My hubby is gearing up and packing for deployment and that is looming ahead and putting extra stress on our lives. The first shipment will be going out next week, boy does that make it real. On a brighter note, I have a wonderful friend that is going to take care of Corban while I am laid up and a few more who are going to graciously provide food for us. THANK YOU in advance for all the help and support. God has provided in wonderful ways. Grandma (Greg's mom)will be here at the end of the month and that will be nice. Corban is going to be scheduled for some more testing (sigmoydoscopy, endoscopy and rectal biopsy) in April to finally see what is going on with his little belly.

Surgery ... Friday 14th

2008-03-11T10:10:00.001-07:00

OK, well I am not handling the upcoming surgery and all that goes with it very well. Fighting in our home is at an all time high and all I can do is cry. I am scared and upset and well everything else too.
PLEASE PRAY! what more can I say.

It's PARTY time! Yeah!

2008-03-08T12:53:00.000-08:00

OK, so I have only been doing this blog thing for a few months and I am having a great time. I am having a grand time meeting new buddies and being able to share thoughts and reflections. I am a mom/wife saved by grace, forgiven of my sins and held in the ever loving arms of my savior Jesus Christ. I live up here in the way north country where just yesterday we had about 10" of snow. I beleive that we have the biggest snow pile on base in our front yard! It is taller than my hubby who is 6'3". My gorgeous hubby is in the US Army and is getting ready to deploy in May. My precious little one will turn 3 in June. I am looking forward to meeting more new friends during this big party. It is a lot easier for me to do here than face to face. I am a shy one, "don't ya know". I used to write a lot prior to being married and having a child and I forgot how soothing and freeing it can be.
SO, any who .... If you are new and or seasoned, please leave me a comment, I would love to meet you. Thanks for stopping and chatting with me. Talk to you soon. Enjoy the party and if you need anything just let me know and I will see what I can do.

Dancing with my baby!

2008-03-07T14:30:00.001-08:00

Yesterday while watching TV with Greg and Corban there came a commercial and some music and Corban got all excited and asked mommy if I wanted to dance. I did, we did you know the hopping, jumping kind that little a 2 year old does, it was grand! A few minutes later while posting on here I had the radio going and Corban asked me to dance again. We did a slow dance this time and he even started to sing to me. NO, he doesn't know the words to "I know my redeemer lives" by Nicole Mullen but it was wonderful to be serenaded by the little one in my arms. AHHHH God is good and this is beautiful!

The scoop .... Prayer requests.

2008-03-07T13:46:00.000-08:00

OK, There have been a few challenges that my family has been working through and there are some that are coming to a close.
1) I am to have back surgery on Friday the 14 to repair some herniated disc and to remove some of the bone around the disc to take the pressure off the nerves in hopes that I can return to a more normal routine. I started having major problems in December and finally took a medical leave from my watch care position in February as the lifting of the little ones and the bending to clean up were making it hard for my back to heal. It has been a long few months with me feeling very inadequate as a wife and mother. Thank you Greg and Corban for your patience with me. Thanks to you who have been there to help pray and clean.
2) Corban and all of his bowel issues are finally going to be resolved also. See my post "The answers are coming". Thank you Father for placing us here so that we can get the help that we need.
3) Just prior to Greg coming back to active duty we purchased a home in WI. We were moved here to Ft. Drum only 6 months after closing and redecorating. We have had 2 failed attempts to rent the home with the second couple being evicted in Feb. We are now trying to sell the home as we are unable to financially hold the mortgage and pay for "rent" here. Please pray that the home would be sold for the asking price and in a short amount of time.
4) Greg is leaving the first part of May for our first deployment and the tension here is thick. I am not sure how to tell Corban that daddy will be gone for awhile or if I even need to explain it to an almost 3 year old. I know that Greg needs to do this and I do not want to hinder his career, I am proud that he wants to serve, so in some respects I am glad that he is going to fight for our freedom. On the other hand, I don't want to be away from him for that long. I know that most of you reading this will totally understand what I am talking about. Please pray for our troops already serving and for those that will be joining them soon. Pray for safe travels and safety during the deployments and the reunions as some of these fighting men come home to their families.

My hubby the baker

2008-03-06T16:44:00.001-08:00

OK, I must have the best hubby around. He cooks, cleans and enters baking contests. Although his was the only entry for the pie contest (yes, he won. lol) He enjoyed making the pies and has just finished a Pineapple upside down cake. It is no wonder my waist line is increasing. I am learning however to send most of what Greg makes to work with him or to the neighbors that way we care share the fruits of his labor, and I cannot eat more than a bite or two (ok sometimes three, lol). He has even taken it on to cook down a pumpkin or two to make from scratch some wonderful pies and pudding. Our little guy is enjoying the time he and daddy spend in the kitchen cooking and baking. Corban gets so excited when Greg gets a new project started. He loves cooking breakfast for mommy to share with him on Saturdays and Sundays too. His favorite is pancakes. Corban is learning how to flip them over now. Greg and Corban make me breakfast while I soak in the tub and then Corban will bring in a plate and 2 forks so that we can share our meal together. I know, what are we doing eating in the bath tub??? lol

The answers are coming ... the answers are coming ...

2008-03-06T15:21:00.000-08:00

Yesterday we took our little Corban to a new GI doctor here in Watertown and low and behold "it's not all in my head and Corban is not holding it ( the poop that is)"! Duh! Finally after two years of fighting with doctors this new one agrees with me. He kept saying "I'm not happy, I'm not happy!" He looked at Corban's little (big) belly and said that it should not be bloated like that on a continual basis. He looks like a little malnourished starving child from a third world. There are times it hurts me to look at his distended tummy, it get so big and hard. There seems to be a lot of gas built up and there are a few possible answers but we need to do some more invasive testing.
Next Teusday we are headed back to Syracuse to the GI Pediatric Surgeons to see about a colon/rectal biopsy. Then in April we are going to the ENT to check on his Adnoids (sp?) , this is one possible answer as Corban is always congested so it could be the root to a couple problems. There may also be some problem with the way his body absorbs the nutrients in the food that he eats and the way his intestines work. So in saying all that there is finally a light at the end of this long tunnel too.

My hurting heart ....

2008-03-02T05:37:00.000-08:00

As I was reading a few blogs last night two in particular jumped out at me and really spoke to my heart. Jan , Jerri

I hesitate to write this as I keep it so deep inside and let no one know how badly I hurt. I have struggled most of my life with my weight issues and am facing some medical problems because of it. I know that some of the issues come from the past and the abuse and lies that I have beleived in. I struggle to hold on to the view that God has of me but my sight is so clouded by everything else that the glimpses I get here and there are few and far between. Jerri has given me a few questions to ask myself as I go before my heavenly father to seek his ways and to hear his voice. I would like to share that with you as I know that I am not the only one that struggles with low self image. Weighed Down

Jerri, Thank you so much for listening and responding. I long for someone to stand with me. I hurt so much most of the time and I dont know how to handle the pain so I hide it. I shy away from people because I don't want them to see the real me. I am afraid of the rejection that has happened all to often in my life and I struggle with being authentic and real even with my christian friends. I know that there are deeper issues out there and that mine are so minor that I hate to bother anyone with them. Your site has somehow touched a cord though and my heart is breaking. I know that there is alot of work that needs to be done in me and I "hide" from my savior the only one that can heal me. I am afraid of losing the little control (lol) that I have. Today as I am getting ready to go into the Lords house I litterally hate myself. I hate the way I look and feel. Some where along the line I lost me and I am scared to go back through all that yuck and find out who I really am. The past has not been kind, yet I know in my head that God has a purpose and a plan for me and the trials that I have been through. I have the head knowlege but am lacking in the heart knowlege.Thank you for your prayers and support and for pointing me back to the cross. The cross that I am afraid to seek because I don't always beleive that Christ wants me. I have the image of a dirty little girl standing on the outside looking in to see the Savior and cowering behind the door because of my filthy rags and the sin and shame in my life. I have tried to oppen that door with little success at this point.

PLEASE LORD HELP ME! I want to be whole and clean! I long to be loved by you and held in your arms. I want to see myself as you see me. Please show me the way!

Who is your King?

2008-03-01T12:29:00.000-08:00

I have just been reading friends (Terri) blog and saw the following clip . It is an awesome reminder of who my God is and what a great King we serve.
My King is holy, righteous, full of grace and mercy. HE died for me and loves me unconditionally. HE is all that I need and all that I should want. HE is beautiful beyond compare and holds me in his nail pierced hand, those precious hands that I myself helped to pierce. HE knows my every weakness and carries me through the darkness when I am too weak to walk. HE is the Lamb of God the Great I AM. HE is my provider, my shelter and my comfort. HE is my shelter in the storms of life. HE has forgiven me of my sins. HE is the potter and I am his clay, HE is molding me into the woman, wife and mother that HE has designed me to be.
THANK YOU FATHER! For seeing in me what I cannot see in myself, and for your redemption and love.
I bow down and Adore you!

Playing Doctor for Daddy

2008-02-27T16:59:00.000-08:00

Today we had to play doctor for daddy. Corban is so gentle and reassuring. Greg cut his thumb pretty good today at work and the medics just bandaged it up with out cleaning it. Greg asked me to clean and re-dress it. Corban and I got out the peroxide, the q-tips, the gauze, tape and anti-biotic ointment. We set up a tray and set to work. While I was cleaning the wound Corban held daddy and kept telling him "it's OK, just breath".
As I write this Greg asked me if I put in here that he wined like a baby as we were doctoring him up, and here is the conversation that followed:
Corban: "I'm not a baby!"
Daddy: "You're not, then what are you?"
Corban: "I'm two!"

Potty Time ...

2008-02-27T16:52:00.000-08:00

OK, Seriously, who is training who?

Today as is my custom while training Corban to go the potty, I told him it was time for mommy to go. He very gently took my hand and led me to the bathroom, turned on the light and lifted the lid for the toilet. Then he sat on the edge of the tub to "hold me" ( which I do for him when he is having problems going) as I went to the bathroom. When I was finished he clapped his hands and said "yeah, Mommy went pee pee on the big potty!" Then he said bye bye pee pee, closed the lid, flushed the toilet and turned off the light when we were done.

One of those days....

2008-02-15T14:58:00.000-08:00

I have been having one of those days ... All week long! I tell you everything is just piling up and surrounding me and I am having a hard time seeing any light at the end. My family and I need a break! There is so much junk going on in our little house right now and we are just overwhelmed with it all. I have to keep asking Corban and Greg for forgiveness because I take my frustrations out on them and that is not fair to either of them. I am trying to let go and let God but there is so much that I have to do, phone calls to make and appointments to keep. Taxes to get done so we can have some money to pay the bills. Yes, I am learning to let the little things go for now and focus on the big ones, like taking care of Corban and making sure that he has food in his belly. My heart is just sick with all that is going on and I loose sight of the One that can give me rest and strength to go on. I feel like I am drowning and I need my gentle Savior to help me find solid ground again. Here are the verses that I pray will help me through this and will bless you in any trials that you may be facing.

James 1:2-4, 12 Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perserverance. Perserverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything. Blessed is the man who perserveres under trial, because when he has stood the test, he will receive the crown of life that God has promised to those who love him.

Matthew 11:28-29 Come to me all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls.

I pray that if there is anyone else out there struggling that these verses will bring hope and rest to your weary souls. Blessings to you all and have a great weekend.

Washing dishes with peanut butter winks

2008-02-09T15:24:00.000-08:00

This is our big boy helper who loves to do the dishes. He was cleaning up after himself. Corban had just finished making and eating a peanut butter sandwich. Well ok he ate the peanut butter off the bread, which is how he got the half mustach. I don't know but I think he is the cutest little boy I know, I may be just a little biased though!

Blog Party????

2008-02-09T14:52:00.000-08:00

What a great idea. Iam still so new to the blog sphere that I cannot wait to meet new moms out there.
See you there!

Marriage Monday ...

2008-02-06T12:10:00.000-08:00

Is hosted by Chrysalis. This months topic is valentines day Top ten tips or Your most memorable Valentines day ever. I have been reading some great stories.

Here is mine ....

I usually never celebrated Valentines day as I was single until I was in my early thirties. Yeah , I would send cards to the parents and grandparents but other than that it was just another day for me to realize that I didn't have that someone special to celabrate with.

Then one my first Valentines day with my wonderfully creative hubby, Greg I was treated like a queen. The day started out as usual with him going off to the gym at about 5:30 am and then to work. I got up and ready for work at my usual time of 7. When I got to my care there was a card waiting for me. After work I arrived home to find a note taped to the front door of our apartment building addressed to me. OK, this is wierd. Anyone and everyone could read it! I tore it off and read it walking down the stairs to our front door, only to find another note for me. Greg had compased a poem for me and was sending me on a "treasure hunt". The love of my life was showing me in his own words how much he loved me and treasured me as "His Wendy".

I walked in the door to my "valet" Greg who removed my coat and was in the process of preparing supper for the two of us. I was to go and hop in the warm bubble bath that he had waiting for me. He would let me know when supper was ready. I had a wonderfully relaxing bath as Greg finished supper. When Greg came in to get me he offered to shave my legs and then, well the rest is between the two of us. Lets just say the supper got cold. I had no doubt in my mind that I had married the right man! I hate surprises and he had found a loving way to suprise and delight me with little of the usual embaresment.

I have been searching high and low this week for that card and the little notes that Greg left for me that day unfortunately I have been unsucessful in finding it. Thank you so much for helping me remember that special day.

Happy Valentines day to you all.

Questions for you ...

2008-01-25T15:12:00.000-08:00

Is there anyone out there that is lactose intollerant? We think that may be part of Corban's little belly problems. I am not sure where to start to take the dairy out of our diet except for the obvious, milk, cheese and those items that I know have dairy in them. I have not found and dairy free cheese yet... any suggestions? Also do you know of any lists of products that would help me shop and cook for a new life without milk?

We are going for a second opinion on Corban's GI issues in Feburary, and I will be checking in with his regular Dr. during his next appointment also.

Thanks for the insights and the resources.

Why is it so hard?

2008-01-17T15:53:00.000-08:00

Why is it so hard for us women to ask for help and to actually accept it when it arrives? This week has been a very long one for us here at the Graf house as mommy is having some major back issues and cannot do what she needs to do to take care of her family. I know that what is going on in our lives does not compare to that of others yet I am all weepy and irritated that I cannot care for Greg and Corban. I am having a hard time accepting the help that is offered, although I have swallowed that ugly thing in my life called pride a few times and have actually called several friends to say "HELP". I don't like that I have to rely on others to do my laundry, dishes, vacuuming etc. I am supposed to be the strong one, right? The one that holds the family together and takes care of everyone. Thank you to those of you who have been there and continue to pitch in where I cannot go right now. Thank you to my wonderful loving hubby who is supportive and understanding. He told me yesterday that he would be flat on his back in my position, that I am very strong to keep going and that it is OK if I need to cry, thanks for the encouragement my love! I know that God has a plan and that he will walk us all through it and that on the other side we will all be healed. Some days I just cannot wait for that new heavenly body that will be mine in glory. Thank you Lord for the lessons and the grace to get through the hard times.

Challenge of the mind

2008-01-09T04:46:00.000-08:00

This 30 day challenge is (I think) going OK. The biggest problem I am seeing and trying to overcome is the battle that goes on in my mind. I say one thing to Greg and am thinking something totally different(not good). Talk about needing to take every thought captive. I feel so bad for the toughts that go through my head even if I do not say them out loud. Greg is such a wonderful man. He is so strong and understanding when I have a melt down or when Corban needs him. Please continue to pray for my walk with both my Heavenly husband and my earthly one. The journey has been sweet so far and continues to challenge, stretch and comfort me all at once.
Blessings to you all. My sick little guy needs his mommy now.

30 day challenge

2008-01-03T10:35:00.001-08:00

OK, well the challenge is not off to a good start. The first part of the day seems to go OK and then after lunch it all goes down hill. My attitude is not right and I am resentful of the time I do not get. I need to look to God for my support and not leave everything up to Greg, as he cannot fill me up, only God can. Greg is so good to me and loves me so much I just want to show him how proud I am of him and how much I appreciate all he does for us. He truly is a blessing. I think that as I work on this challenge God is wanting to change me for the better. I am finding that my heart is not in the right place and that I am too critical and naggy. I pray that through this I will gain a meek and quiet spirit. Please pray with me. Blessings to you all.

New Year, New Hope

2007-12-31T06:52:00.002-08:00

Good morning everyone. Today is the last day in 2007 and I would like to wish you all a very happy and joyous New Year. I pray that 2008 will be full of hope and joy as God blesses you and your families. I am beginning the new year with the 30 Day Husband Encouragement Challenge . I pray that our Father will be merciful and gracious as He guides me in the path that He wants me to take this next year as I grow in Him and become more like His son Jesus. Today we are given a new slate, a new hope and a new future. Praise God for all that he has given to us in 2007, the challenges, the pain, the laughter and the tears. May we each grow closer to Him through our struggles and bring Him the glory and honor He is due.

The verse of the day:
“This is what the LORD says— he who made a way through the sea, a path through the mighty waters, "Forget the former things; do not dwell on the past. See, I am doing a new thing! Now it springs up; do you not perceive it? I am making a way in the desert and streams in the wasteland.” (Isaiah 43:16, 18-19)

Blessings to you all! May God grant you your hearts desires according to His will in 2008!

Encouragement and Prayer for the men in our lives

2007-12-27T16:26:00.000-08:00

My friend Sandy and a few other blogger buddies are doing the 30-day Husband Encouragement Challenge and have invited us to join them. I have accepted the challenge as this is a constant prayer of mine. I pray that I will be the wife, helpmate, friend, confidant and soul mate that my Greg needs me to be and that God has called me to be. I pray that with this challenge I will be able to grow in this area of my walk with God and Greg. I pray that God will remove the walls and move the mountains that are hidden deep inside. I would like to challenge any of my readers ( not that there are many of you) to also look at the information and pray about taking the challenge your selves.

Here are the links you will need. Everything is printable for our convenience
30-day Husband Encouragement Challenge
31-days of Praying for your Husband

Proverbs 31:11-12 Her husband has full confidence in her and lacks nothing of value. She brings him good, not harm, all the days of her life.

Ephesians 4:29 Let no corrupt communication proceed out of your mouth, but what is good for necessary edification, that it may impart grace to the hearers.

Ramblings of a lonley mom,

2007-12-26T12:20:00.000-08:00

I am sitting here wondering what to do with my Christmas Gift from the most wonderful man in the world, my gorgeous hubby Greg. His gift to me this year is a week without him and our son Corban. They went to see Greg's boys Jared and Caleb in NC for a week.
WOW!! A week free, yeah! Think of all I can get done!
Let's see ... I can sit around in my pj's all day if I want and I can sleep, take an uninterrupted bubble bath, get some reading done and so on and so forth.
Where do I begin? So much to do and so little time to do it.
Well, the laundry room is re-organized and the laundry is done. The Christmas projects that didn't get done are in process now. The photos have been put in a box to be sorted later and the office is begging for attention. I think I will wait on that till tomorrow, it may require a little more energy than I have right now.
OK, so the projects are started and I miss my men! Was I crazy to let them go without me? What was I thinking?
I hope that all of you have had a wonderful, blessed Christmas and that the reminder of Christ's birth will be with you for the rest of the year. I pray that God will bring you much joy and peace in 2008 and for those of you whose husbands are serving to protect our families and our freedom I pray that God will watch over them and care for them while your families are apart. Here I am lamenting that mine is gone for a week, knowing that he is leaving us to serve this country also and that next Christmas we will be with out our hero. I admire your service to support your husbands in the call that they have been given. I pray that I will be as strong as you are in your faith and in your call as military wives and mothers.
In his Grace and Mercy - blessings to you all!

"The Greatest gift of all!"

2007-12-19T13:38:00.001-08:00

In His birth we find new hope.

In His life we find new strength.

In His love we find new acceptance.

From the manger to the cross,

Jesus meets our every need,

our every desire,

our every purpose in life.

He is in all things and, in all ways,

the greates Christmas gift for all times.

By: Rebecca Barlow Jordan

LOL Funny!

2007-12-18T11:13:00.001-08:00

He is just too cute!
The other day Corban and Greg went shopping for me while I was "watching" the pumpkins in the oven Greg was baking for pies. Well, my boys got home and we put everything but the family pack of hamburger away, so we set it on the counter for me to separate and freeze. Greg and Corban wanted to scoop out the pumpkins and so we did that and were cleaning up when I hear Greg tell Corban "don't do that to the hamburger!" I turned just in time to see sweet precious Corban bend over and kiss the hamburger that he was poking and then he said "I'm sorry mam burger!"
I just about peed my pants I laughed so hard!
Corban is SO loving and sweet it is just wonderful! We are truly blessed by God's grace!

Poopy!

2007-12-13T15:26:00.000-08:00

OK, well here are some not so nice thoughts. Our son Corban has had bowel issues since he was about 6 months old. We have done all the tests and everything seems normal yet he continuously has problems in that realm. So, we went to the GI (again) because the medications that he is on, the suppositories and enemas that we have been giving him are not working and he (at times) looks like he is starving to death with his distended and hard belly. Yesterday the doctor told us that he holds it in because he is scared of the pain so he has given us yet another medication and said that we need to start potty training him. Yippee!!
He doesn't want to sit on the pot when he is pooping because it hurts and he is frightened yet that is what they are telling me to do. So, how do I do that with out making him even more scared of the whole thing? One friend has suggested that I put his potty chair in the living room and let him watch TV with a "comfort toy" while he sits to go. OK, done. Then what?
Thankfully God has graced us with a very mild (for the most part) mannered little boy and his takes most of this in stride. He knows when we have to give him an enema and he knew yesterday that the doctor was going to poke him in the rear and he just screams and clenches his little tushie. I just hold him and tell him how much I love him and tell him it will be OK. My heart is sick every time though and I hate to see him in so much pain. I know how I feel when I get that way and I know what is happening, he doesn't!
I have even begun to cheer when he has gas because he looks at me as if to say oops, was that OK mommy? He has been peeing on the potty and we cheer and dance when he accomplishes that so I am trying to encourage him. Do day we really danced around and called daddy and were just plain wild when he went poopy on the potty for the first time with out much to do. He seemed very proud of himself and he always helps me clean up and flush the toilet when we are done. Such a smart little guy and helpful to boot!
Well, I guess that is enough rambling on about our poopy issues, have a great night all and we will talk soon.

Thoughts ....

2007-12-05T05:12:00.000-08:00

Why is it that when I sit down to write I come up with nothing, yet when I am lying in bed at night fighting to find rest I can compose to my hearts content?
I lay in bed most nights (or even while I rock and sing Corban to bed), and my heart just starts to "write", about how God is so good and faithful to us, for how thankful I am for my family, and so much more but when I try to put it in writing it comes out as gibberish!

Broken and Breautiful

2007-12-01T06:12:00.000-08:00

Thank you heavenly Father for your grace and mercy.
This last week has been a rough one for our family. Some one made the comment at PWOC on Thursday that we need to "take it to the Throne and not to the phone". A reminder that I needed. I need to continually pray for perseverance and strength to go on. To ask forgiveness from a little 2 year old is humbling! Even though Corban doesn't understand right now I have had to seek his forgiveness and that of my husband and father for my actions and attitude.
I am so grateful that God promises to carry me through when I have no strength to walk on my own. We can be so broken and ucky on the inside and God still loves us and calls us His own. We are his precious little children, beautifully and wonderfully made! He know everything that will happen to us and wants to use the circumstances that we put ourselves in for our great good, to bring Him all the glory. He wants us to know that we cannot do it in our own power but that He is the power that works through us.
He has also reminded me this week that I need the help of my sisters and brothers that he has provided through the death of His son. I am part of the body of Christ and cannot function on my own. It is very hard for me to admit that and to seek help, prayer and counsel. I know that there are so many others out there that suffer more than my family is at this time, but again a friend reminded me that, that doesn't make my struggles less real and that I still need to be open and honest with the wonderful people that God has placed in my life for this season.
Thank you for all your prayers and for listening to my ramblings.
Your sister In Christ --

Loving Grandma's Koala

2007-11-25T13:44:00.000-08:00

Thanksgiving

2007-11-21T13:54:00.000-08:00

God is good and faithful!

He will not fail us even when we fail him and ourselves. We are going through some very tight/rough times here. We are praying that God will carry us over the rocks and that in the end we will be stronger as a couple, as a family and as children of God.
I fell short last night as I attacked both my father and my husband due to our circumstance's and I have had to face them both and ask forgiveness. I am at my wits end and instead of going to my Father in heaven I struck out at those that I love. I am ashamed of my behavior and thank God that He is there for me. That he has forgiven me and that my father and husband can forgive my humanness as well.
I really need to work on praising God through the thick and the thin. Thanksgiving is a good reminder for me to do just that. It has been suggested that I start a Thanksgiving list and now is the time for us to remember what we am thankful for.
I am thankful that God has called me to be his precious daughter. He has given me new life and new hope.
God blessed me with a wonderful family that is strong and supportive of me and my family.
He blessed me with a strong godly man to love me and to share my life with. He has blessed Greg and I with a beautiful little boy that is so much fun and such a challenge at the same time. I am learning to lean on Christ and be patient with Corban just as Christ is with me. I pray that I will be the mommy that Corban needs and deserves, "A mom ofter God's own heart".
God is not the only one that has adopted us. Chaplin Dave and Lois Essels have also taken us into their hearts and tomorrow their home for Thanksgiving. What a blessing to be counted as family when we are in such a "foreign" land.
Thank you Father for all these things and more!

Time Out ...

2007-11-10T05:15:00.000-08:00

For the first time since Corban was born I was able to "retreat" for a weekend, and what a weekend it was.
PWOC Fall focus was rejuvinating! Our focus was on Christ and us as His bride. What a great visual for us all. We had a great time and even celebrated a betrothal feast on Saturday evening. In bible times this was the time a covenant was made and the bride and groom were considered married. The groom then left to prepare a place for his new bride. Once he had completed his preperations and his father approved then he would return to bring his bride home with him. Just as Christ is preparing a place for us in His fathers house and we as his brides are awaiting his glorious return.
The weekend was a time of renewal and healing as well. I am looking forward to the work that God has started and I pray that I will become the wife and mommy He wants me to be and that Greg and Corban deserve.
Thank you to all who made this weekend possible and for the new bonds between sisters that were created.
Thank you also to my car mates (Bethany, Lois, and Elizabeth) for listening and not judging, for loving and supporting me, for your kind words and encouragement. I would ask that you continue to pray as my heavenly father and I work on the details.
Most of all - Thank you Father for who you are and that you have called me to be your precious daughter, a bride of the King!

Welcome

2007-10-30T13:48:00.000-07:00

Welcome to our new home(page) that is. I am hoping that I can learn how to do this so that we can stay in touch with our family and freinds a little more often. I am having fun trying things out (except when the computer kicks me off the net!!).
Our move to the northwest area of NY last Christmas has been challenging and rewarding at the same time. Greg and I are having to work on our communications which is really normal for a marriage, Corban and I are having fun learning and playing together. He is getting to be such a hadsome little guy and sooooo smart to boot! He keeps us on our toes for sure!
PWOC (Protestant Women of the Chapel)has been a blessing, a way that I can connect with other christian women and continue to grow in Christ. I tend to be a homebody and getting out and being a part of a community helps me not be so isolated. I have also started going to a MOPS group which is fun. A few of my PWOC sisters and I are heading out of town for a few days! My first away from Corban since he was born, I am excited and nervous at the same time. I am looking forward to the time away so that I can rest and re-connect with our AWSOME GOD.
I am also slowly getting involved with the FRG(family readiness group) for the band and in the process becoming friends with some of the other wives in the group. Greg's unit has received a Warning Order to go overseas probably by May of 2008. I am actually looking forward to his going (God willing) as it is Greg's desire to go and finish his job. This is what he signed up for and what he longs to do, protect our freedom. I know that it will be hard not to have my husband around and Corban will greatly miss daddy but we fully support him in his job and in the sacrifices he will have to make to continue to defend and protect us. Thank you honey for your unwavering service as our family leader. We are very proud to stand behind you.